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Jurisdiction: American, Bar

Outcome: Hung Jury

Ratio decidendi: Solid burgers, inconsistent curly fries.

Scope of discovery: BLT Burger

Case Note: The BLT reminded me of pre-stock fraud Rudy Ruettiger – stout, chunky and punchy (in flavour). Curiously, there wasn’t anything particularly special about each individual element – the beef patty wasn’t all that juicy, the bun could have been from a store and the bacon wasn’t crispy. And yet together, they combined to form a ‘one standard deviation from the  mean’ tasty burger.

The real let down on the plate though was the curly fries – and this is coming from someone who lovesss curly fries! We got off to a bad start by virtue of the curly fries not being…curly – resembling more of a dune of mini boomerangs as opposed to suspension coils. More importantly though, they were overfried, bordering on burnt, which left an unpleasant aftertaste once you found the pockets of fries that had escaped the sprinkling of chilli salt seasoning.

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Something did seem amiss though, much like when I turned up to Iguazu Falls to find the waters brown with mud. Some post-meal urbanspoon-ing pointed to quite broad variations in the kitchen’s curly fry output. Some pictures look similar to the experience I had – short pieces with a darker shade and a saturated oil appearance – while others were actually long and curly, with an inviting golden hue. On the basis of the photo gallery alone, inconsistency seems to be …consistent.

Obiter Dicta: Unless you’re prepared to have a few drinks to pass the time, I’d make a booking if you plan on dining in. It took a mid-week, off-peak visit to finally snag a table at Stitch and even then it was the last one in the house – and the size of a coffee table.

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